Mahou Shounen Kaitou Daisuke!
by Natsumi
Summary: Daisuke’s family has a secret, they have a long line of raising a shadow thief whose duty is to release digimon hidden in various antiques and objects. And Daisuke is the next heir… A humor attempt at mahou shounen/magical boy, with shounen ai.


Mahou Shounen Kaitou Daisuke!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Digimon, nor do I own the characters. The only things that belong to me are the story/plot itself, dialogue, and all and any original characters that may be introduced.

**Author's Note:** I know... I know... stop looking at me like that! Alrighty, this is my first attempt at a Digimon humor fic. Look at the genre: humor/fantasy. Don't take this too seriously okay? It's just me having fun with putting our digiverse into a mahou shounen genre. Mahou shounen means "magical boy", you know one of those series where your normal average boy gets certain powers. Many are familiar with it's female counterpart, "mahou shoujo" magical girls, like Sailormoon, etc. 

My first, and last venture into mahou shounen territory, it's an attempt at humor. Okay, so maybe it's not very funny, or witty... it's just the idea that's amusing. I know that the idea of Daisuke as a magical boy, complete with transformation sequences and ridiculously cloying attacks, amuses the hell out of *me*. I'm not going to make any profound statements (likely because I'm not very profound) This is going to be chockful of the genre's clichés. This will probably be cheesy and/or corny. You have my deepest apologies if you get traumatized by this. Also note that there are various anime/manga references included in there. Just humor me.

This idea came to me just this afternoon... and I wrote it soon after. Unlike my other fics, this isn't very serious, and doesn't even attempt to be ambitious with intents of using heavy themes! The plot isn't even very certain, and is most certainly going to be like your episodic anime. Aren't we going to have fun? *lol* Again I'm going to be using only the 02 introduced Digidestined in this, meaning Daisuke, Ken, Iori and Miyako. The 01 DD might make an cameo in this... I'm not very sure... As I said, not much plot ne? If you hadn't figured it out, this is going to be **AU (alternate universe)**, and the four *won't* be Digidestined. Digimon *are* going be in this fic... you'll see... Mahou Shounen Kaitou Daisuke translates to: Magical Boy Phantom Thief Daisuke... or something like that, I'm not too sure.

To anyone who has written anything like this before, please don't be mad, this idea was *not* plagiarized, since I haven't read any fic like this before. If you *have* written something like this, please send me the URL, I'd love to read it, and know what to avoid when it comes to my own fic.

**Ratings and Warnings:** Rated PG-13 for the most part, since there is **swearing**, and it will contain violence, and **shounen ai**. Yes, boys liking boys, excuse me while I sin happily here. Do not be fooled by the Daisuke and Miyako's relationship. Don't misinterpret them to be romantic Daiyako hints, although it is my most supported straight coupling. I'm a ** Kensuke** fan, first and foremost. *waves her Kensuke banner around* so don't wait around for a Kenyako to appear. I may end up bringing up the rating to **R** so watch out for rating jumps!

So anyway, don't kill me if there's a lack of Ken-goodness in the first two episodes! The Kensuke will come later, I promise! It mostly focuses on Daisuke, and Miyako's in there too! Happy reading, and feedback would be most welcomed (yes even flames, it at least affirms to me the fact that someone actually *read* this fic!)

And yeah... if anyone wants to contribute, I'm willing to turn this into an interactive fiction kind of thing! *beams* 

Oh and about Jun... I don't hate her, she just has to remain missing in the story for plot purposes... yes there *is* a plot, however thin and poorly done it is...

Yeah, yeah I'll shut up now. *runs off to write an opening theme* 

**_Mahou Shounen Kaitou Daisuke!_**   
**Episode 01: Introducing The Boy Thief!**  
**First of a 2 part episode**

"Have you ever heard those stories where some random object suddenly starts acting up? Like maybe a haunted house? I'm sure that after giggling about it with your friends, and maybe for a few nights sleeping with the light on, you easily banished those tales from your mind, after all, they're just stories, right?" 

"But sometimes… they aren't just stories. Sometimes, they can be horrifyingly true." 

"Have you ever heard about that myth called the Pandora's Box? It was in Greek mythology, once a long time ago, the gods wanted to punish men for acquiring fire, gifted to them by Prometheus. You'd think they would have just done the whole fire and brimstone deal, but that's the Christians, not the Greeks. No, those gods were very quirky and decided to punish man through a most unusual manner. They created a woman, though how those guys were reproducing before then is beyond me, maybe homosexuality was okay back then? Anyway, this woman was named Pandora, and all the gods gave her gifts, like beauty and crap and stuff like that to make her incredibly alluring." 

"One of those quirky tricky gods though, gave her curiosity, which now in our time translates to nosiness. Another god, I think it was Hermes, gave her this box, beautifully crafted and decorated, and told her to never open it. That was asking for trouble right there, I mean it's like reverse psychology. If a person tells you to not think of something, *of course* you're going to end up thinking of it right?" 

"The fucker of the entire thing is, that box was extra special. See, even if it was damn pretty on the outside, it contained horrors. Pandora tried to restrain herself, until her curiosity got the better of her, and finally she opened the box. And to her great surprise, the damn thing unleashed horrors into the world, demons, and monsters, hate, anger, starvation, sickness, all the bad shit to test mankind. However, Pandora got a little reality check and slammed the box shut, keeping inside the one thing that could help humanity overcome all those problems. It was hope." 

"Now you're probably wondering how that heartwarming little tale is related to my story. Shut up and listen for a bit. See the same thing sorta happened to our world like… eons ago. See, a long time ago, ancient times, the human world and this whole other world, the Digital World were connected. They had an open pathway between both worlds. Of course, there's always evil waiting to snap its jaws, and many evil digimon tried to enter the human world and take over it." 

"'Course, the human world didn't lack for defenders, and many onmyouji and other digimon tried to protect the humans. They managed to defeat most of the monsters and send the rest back to the Digital World. They sealed the evil digimon into this box, and everyone thought things would finally settle down. They made plans to create a temporary barrier for the path, until they could create the proper spell to send the box back without having more evil take the Overlord Trip to the human world. Unfortunately, some bumbling fool accidentally opened the box. The sorcerers managed to use all of their powers to permanently seal off the gate, and ending up practically killing themselves. The freed evil digimon, with nowhere to go, and unable to exist for long in the human world now that the source of their life was cut off, hid in various inanimate objects, furniture, cars, all that shit. It wasn't very smart move if you ask me, god knows the successors of the original onmyoujis have been trying to free and banish the digimon from too many goddamn objects. It's kinda like that mahou shoujo thing, you always have to defeat some evil bad guy created from some object, like a handkerchief." 

"My family has been one of the Guardians of the human world ever since that catastrophe struck. We're made up of kaitous… thieves. We steal all the possessed objects and force the evil digimon to show themselves, and then we banish them. 'Course we also get to keep the objects we steal. What do you honestly think that the owners would accept that we had to steal them to free them from evil digimon? They'd check us all in mental institutions." 

"In my family, all the kids are trained from birth to become kaitous. Then when we come of age, 14, we then receive the not so happy news that we're going on a life of crime, and danger. Which would be pretty cool if it would help you get the chicks, but sucks since you have to keep that secret identity thing. And every new heir, the Shounen Kaitou makes his rounds again." 

"And this year, on my fourteenth birthday, I'm going to be the newest Guardian. Motomiya Daisuke" 

"So welcome to the world of Mahou Shounen Kaitou Daisuke!" 

"Cut!" 

Motomiya Daisuke blinked at his best friend Inoue Miyako, who was fiddling around with a handcamera. It had taken them several hours to complete what Miyako claimed to be "The Chronicles of a Kaitou" because Miyako had been dissatisfied with the first few takes. 

"Miyako-chan, 'So welcome to the world of Mahou Shounen Kaitou Daisuke!' would sound so much more impressive and…. Mahou-ish if someone else said it. Like some announcer guy with a nice deep voice." 

"Silence!" When Inoue Miyako said that and glared at you behind glasses that reflected the light sinisterly, bearing a most frightening resemblance to Gendo Ikari, by golly, you obeyed! 

"I still can't believe this is actually true!" Miyako sighed, lowering the camera onto Daisuke's desk, and flopping onto the bed beside her best friend. 

"Tell me about it, I mean I always knew there was something strange when my mother started teaching me how to steal my classmates crayons in kindergarten!" Daisuke said laughingly. 

"I mean, who would have thought, the staid, *normal* Motomiya family had this kind of secret!" 

"That's us, proper and law-abiding by day, magical thieves by night!" 

"Not you, runt, I always knew there was something odd about *you*." Miyako never failed to rub Daisuke's face to the fact that she was a year older than him, and happened to be slightly taller, by an inch, and INCH, thus persisted in calling him names like "shorty" or "runt" or her favorite "minuteman" which seemed to vastly amuse her for some strange reason. She always added "In more ways than one!" to it before the set off into uncontrollable laughter. If she hadn't been his best friend since he'd stolen one of *her* crayons, but returned it when she cried about losing it, he probably would have used his mad kaitou skillz to teach her a lesson.

"I think it's rather sexist though!" Daisuke knew the look on Miyako's face. Living in the same apartment, going to the same school, and being best friends, he was the person who knew her best and could predict her moods and reactions just by reading the certain way her eyebrows twitched when she was about to scold you, or the way her eyes would get that twinkle before she started rhapsodizing about her latest crush. People had often mistaken them for something closer than friends, and claimed that they were such cute childhood sweethearts. Old men would cackle on how Daisuke got himself a feisty wench, and how she would be a firecracker in bed. Daisuke would protest that she would be more like a foghorn. He knew from various sleepovers that she could outsnore his own father. Still, no matter how violently both of them protested, people would just exchange knowing looks and pat their heads. 

"W-what is?" 

"That only the males in your family get to be the Guardian! I mean, isn't that chauvinistic? Don't your family elders think that girls could handle it too?" 

"Maa, maa, Miya-chan." Daisuke said soothingly, when it became apartment that Miyako would take up another hour on her soapbox if not calmed. "We *do* have female kaitous… as a matter of fact, my sister was one before she…" Daisuke abruptly cut himself off. His sister was a very painful subject, and he often avoided speaking about her. Most of his classmates didn't even know that he had a sister. Only Miyako knew that she had disappeared when Daisuke had been 10, but never knew the specifics. 

Miyako softened, knowing that her often gratingly cheerful friend had a very sensitive side to him. If anything, she was more like an elder sister to him, rather than a girlfriend. To Daisuke, she was a lot like his elder sister, Jun. All spunk and fire, but actually very loving once you got past the boy-crazy exterior she put on. Daisuke, uncomfortable with the topic, smiled his patented Daisuke grin, guaranteed to make him seem blindingly happy. It was an easy shield for him to use. If some people used indifference and aloofness, Daisuke would hide behind a bright smile and a joke. It was not often that the boy would have to force a smile, he was the kind of person never to hold negative feelings for long. 

Miyako, understanding him, changed the topic. "Anyway, now that we're done with the introduction, let's move on to the real stuff!" She bounced on the bed, making the boy nearly fall off from where he was perched. "When's the ceremony going to be?" 

"On my birthday, Miya, you know that!" Daisuke scrambled to regain his balance, all in all not an inspiring picture for would-be kaitou fans. "You're invited to watch the ceremony, by the way." 

"Of course, I would be!" The lavender-haired girl sent her friend a huffy look. This was an important and exciting event in her best friend's life and she would not be left out, rules or not! "So we only have one week left to prepare!" 

"Prepare? Prepare what?" It seemed like Daisuke's role would be the questioning parrot. 

"For your signature style of course! First you need to get a cool name. 'Shounen Kaitou' is too general, and just about anyone can assume your identity! Then we get to your cool costumes, which *I'm* going to design of course! Then we get your cool weapons, and maybe something… unique for you to leave at the scene of the crime! You know like Dark Mousy in DN Angel, sending warning notices, or like throw a rose around like Tuxedo Mask! This is going to be so awesome!" Miyako squealed. 

Daisuke was horrified. "There is no way I'm going to throw around a rose! How gay do you think I am?" Miyako shot him the look that Daisuke correctly interpreted as her Asuka Sohryuu Langley interpretation. The two teenagers shared a love for all things anime and manga, and their hobbies included writing fanfiction and in Daisuke's case drawing fanart and doujinshi. They were even doing their own manga. 

"It doesn't matter if it's a rose you throw around, or if you wield a whip, Daisuke-*chan*" Miyako emphasized the –chan. "You just need a signature! Something to proclaim to Japan that the Mahou Shounen Kaitou is back in business! Make the world pay attention! You want that don't you?" 

"Well… yes…" 

"So shut up and pay attention!" It was clear that in this partnership, Daisuke was… to put it kindly… whipped. He may be the one doing the thefts, but Miyako would be bossing him around all the while. Upon coming to this realization, Daisuke groaned and flopped onto his back on the bed, covering his eyes with his right forearm. Maybe it would have been better to have kept his kaitou destiny a secret from his best friend. The idea was rejected immediately. The secret identity was difficult enough to deal with without having to make excuses to Miyako. 

"Alright, first, we have to find you a cool weapon, name, signature…" Miyako was in her element. A connoisseur of various mahou shounen/shoujo series, she was now being given a chance to create her own magical boy! How exciting! 

"Alright, cool name… how about, Akai Kitsune? No… sounds too nyargh, whatever. Erm, Yami no Tenshi? Nope… You're no Kaworu Nagisa…" 

"How about Daisuke the Great?" was Daisuke's feeble input. 

"No! Bakayoru! It's unoriginal and totally ruins the secret identity thing!" Miyako was giving her friend a horrified look for even suggesting such a thing. "We're trying to be cool yet ambiguous, not pander to your ego!" 

Sometimes, Daisuke wondered how he even *had* an ego with Miyako around. 

"Let's just move on… alright, cool weapon… how about a laptop?" 

"Oh brilliant Miyako. So what do I do when I attack a digimon? Rope them and scream, "Modem Cable of Love!" Daisuke said, mimicking a certain mahou shoujo. Miyako couldn't help but snicker at the mental image. 

"No, fool! That's too shoujo!" 

After thirty minutes of debate, Daisuke gave up, and shook his head. 

"And how, pray tell, do we come up with this?" 

"Research!" Miyako stood up and grabbed the bag she had brought with her for exactly this discussion. She pulled out tankoubons of Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne, DN Angel, and many others, and threw out many anime DVDs. 

"Miyako?" Daisuke mumbled, buried underneath the pile of Miyako's "research material". 

"Motomiya Daisuke, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to read as many mahou shoujo/shounen manga as you possibly can in one week to come up with your kaitou identity." Miyako said, sounding far too much like the man in that spy movie for Daisuke's liking. 'I knew I never should have let her watch those gaijin movies.' he thought. 

"Whoops, need to go home now!" Miyako cried out, after checking her wristwatch. "Happy reading, Mahou Shounen Kaitou Daisuke-chan!" she said with a grin and ran out of his room. 

"Why me?"


End file.
